they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
there is puke in my bra ... again
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