I got chris browned last night
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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