you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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