It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
