so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
