the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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