his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I touched a dick in church today
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
