dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
