Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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