remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
