she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
