i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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