There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
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