We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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