Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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