I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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