Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
