yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
