We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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