Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
