ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
