I bet he comes in French.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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