she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
