I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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