I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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