I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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