we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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