For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
