when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
