dude i'm inner monologue high
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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