Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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