the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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