I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
