he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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