I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dicks are not precious.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
