i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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