It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
