i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
