marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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