i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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