We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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