on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
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The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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