Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
