I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
should my penis look like a turkey
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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