I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
