yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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