Sober January is a disaster.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
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