Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
