I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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