Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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