Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
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I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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