I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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