it hurts more in the daytime
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
