Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
