Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm at about main and main street
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
