Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
