it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
