He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
