So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
