no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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