first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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