It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
