I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Your shirt... Was in my pants
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
