She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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