She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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