halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
