im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i think i have two assholes
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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