I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
