I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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