There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
